When this happens, he may not even realise that he is taking their side of yours all the time. Ive left him once because he refused marriage counseling. While our ability to embrace adventure is certainly restricted by the realities of a busy life, spouses can still seize the day and plan experiences together that are new, fun, and exciting. I feel so rejected and lonely. How Do You React When Your Husband Ignores You? Terry?s book, The Remarriage Manual: How to Make Everything Work Better the Second Time Around, was published by Sounds True in February of 2020. I would love to see a family law judge make this ruling. He might have forgiven you, but not forgotten what you did. There are genuine efforts to meet all of the competing demands and be there for those they love. If we actually Put Kids First.When a Divorce (or split up) happens. They take time to work through and therapy is a good way to do that. (5+ Blurry Lines). They're close. But, he will eventually come to you and share his feelings. They are an online therapy platform in which you can call, text, or video chat with a therapist every week. Husband ignores me when his daughter is around. Dont go silent and make conclusions about him or his children. With this information in hand, itll be far easier for you to react appropriately. Its a good idea when you are feeling ignored by your husband to examine your own behavior and try to modify your approach to gaining his attention. "His daughter ignores me." So, you're clearly not alone! Follow him onInstagramandFacebook. Make sure you dont join in these interactions with resentful or poor me attitude. When your husband ignores you, disengage as a way to restore your composure, not to punish your partner. Keep it to yourself I say! Continue to pull your husband aside in private moments and let him know how important it is for you to be included, even though they are in your home. 10 Powerful Financial Goals for Couples to Build Their Marriage, 10 Silly Mistakes to Avoid When Resolving Conflict in Marriage, How to Balance a Career With Marriage: 8 Tips, What Is a Postnuptial Agreement? Give him the benefit of the doubt. He schedules things that dont include me, he wont acknowledge me when I enter the room if hes hanging out with them and he generally becomes more cold and aloof toward me. As the spouse of a narcissist, I must walk alone through my struggles, silently feeling my pain while no one sees it, no one sees him. Their true personality comes out once your married or in a situation where its hard to leave. I tell her the truth. Ask him to stay open to your feelings while you work to be flexible with the adjustments everyone is making in this new family configuration. TobiosFunke. Reason #2: He Feels Neglected. Stop telling yourself and others that your husband makes you feel invisible. I finally asked him when we would be going. It would be easy for me to say, "You must tell your. When you make plans, discuss it as a family. If you stop pointing fingers at each other and really focus on. Husband Ignores Me After New Baby. And then they tell you what they think you really feel. If you have ever pondered 'my husband doesn't talk to me for days' or wondered 'why does my wife ignore me', then you may find some comfort in the following reasons. A better one to ask is how you can minimise the effect all this has on you, because yours is the only behaviour you have control over. He doesnt seem to recognize this when I bring it to his attention. Does he ignore you when he is with his friends or family? He is Trying to Protect Her Whether couples find themselves distracted, tired, or simply preoccupied or when a guy ignores you after an argument, its important to understand that communication is a two-way street. That's just great! Most husbands work outside the home to provide for the family. These things can help restore the bond between you and your partner and help you feel closer. They Have Difficulty With Showing Their Feelings, What To Do When Your Partner Ignores You - The Bottom Line, A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. I know I contribute to our problems, but were both stuck.. 1. He's been very helpful with the baby. Divorce, remarriage and blending a family is disorienting for even the most earnest and aware parent. Relationships with in-laws (parents, sisters-in-law, etc.) He served a full-time mission to the Dominican Republic. Men enjoy praise! He struggles with severe depression but he wont talk to me or take his anti depressant regularly. 3. If you are being ignored by your husband, find a regularly scheduled opportunity to unplug, confide in one another, and. Sometimes, in addition to being ignored, it may happen that a husband will avoid his wife in a relationship too. Anytime i have An opinion other than his its an argument most of the time. Youll know this is the situation if he is using everything as an excuse to ignore you. 28. You can read more about me. If you want to continue having a healthy relationship with your boyfriend having frequent conversations about what is bothering you is key.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'beingagoodparent_com-leader-3','ezslot_14',151,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-beingagoodparent_com-leader-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'beingagoodparent_com-leader-3','ezslot_15',151,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-beingagoodparent_com-leader-3-0_1');.leader-3-multi-151{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:15px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:15px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:600px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. I know this will be difficult for you, but I encourage you to not play small and shrink away. Wow Im really impressed Bob made two comments and didnt blame the Mormons for anything. More importantly, would you like to know the most effective ways to respond to this situation? However, there is a problem with the silent treatment in that it does not get to the root of the problem between you and your husband. If theyre playing a game and dont acknowledge you when you walk in the room, sit down and ask if you can join. When people avoid you it can actually be a way for them to assert control over you and the connection you have. What is a Revocable Living Trust for a Married Couple? When you treat yourself with the love and attention you so desperately crave, you will begin to feel stronger and think more clearly again. "Once a cheater always a cheater.". Does your boyfriend ignore you when you guys are together or does he ignore your text/calls. Your email address will not be published. Plus it can be hard to learn how to ignore husband who ignores you if he is already giving you the silent treatment - he may not even notice that you are doing it. I get along well with his kids and it seems like they feel good about me. He is married to Jody Young Steurer and they are the parents of four children. Make sure to eliminate all other possibilities before considering this. 1. You might also notice that youre having the same fights repeatedly. Twitter: @geoffsteurer Dating someone with children is tricky but with some good communication and respect for the parent/child bong, your relationship can flourish. The most healthy way to move forward in the relationship is to take it slowly. Seriously am deeply hurt and to tell u the truth am being fed up he ignores me and does not touch me am really hurt how will I deal with it cos he know I love him too much, My husband has an stronger personality,is not excuse but, since I had stopped working and I have been at home I tried to keep everything clean and try to do not bother him since i am at home but he doing me feel so bad, he started criticize any conversation I make, he intimidates me with his words, he makes me feel like I'm in his way, makes me feel less that I am worth nothing and that I have nothing. 3) He wouldn't commit to doing even one of a list of easy chores I composed that he could be entirely responsible for. If your husband seems to be ignoring you, a powerful first step can be to attempt to reestablish communication. Posted by 5 minutes ago. However, its more common to have difficulties and messiness as the process unfolds. He specializes in working with individuals and couples dealing with the impact of sexual betrayal. Different from losing interest, being unhappy in the relationship means that he still cares and wants to be with you, but something isn't right. When you have been unfaithful to your partner, being sorry about it may not change what has happened. Whatever his reasons, there is no line between you and him getting his narcissistic needs met. If you feel like your husband doesn't talk to you because he is having a sex life outside of the marriage, this is a problem you need to address as soon as possible to minimize the fall out as much as possible - especially if you have children. When someone walks into a room, acknowledge them. Your Husband Has A Serious Hangup - Perhaps your husband has always been quick to a be annoyed, blaming you and others for his problems or misfortune. Avail years best deals on our marriage courses! A dramatic change in your husbands behaviour doesnt just appear out of thin air. After I got divorced I dated some single moms, and I knew it would be a huge sacrifice on my part if we took the relationship further because my kids come first. If I could just get rid of the TV, I would get a lot more of my husband's attention-or so I believed. So there are 65 wedding guests arriving, people we don't know. I gave it a go, but in the end it was just too much to deal with. Here are a few things you can do if you feel like your boyfriend ignores you when his daughter is around. Concentrating on yourself is a constructive way of dealing with lack of communication from your husband. Has there been a drastic change in his behavior or has he always ignored you when with his daughters? See women would rush to blend the two ASAP( like youre actively doing) not realizing its NOT ABOUT YOU (again wat youre doing) and it would all crash and burn. Claire put it like this: My husband ignores me. This first step to fixing this issue is finding out why he ignores you. Give Him Some Space Giving each other space is a good thing in any relationship. It's my husband's house, but I live there, too. His time with the kids, hes in dad mode you dont exist. The bigger question is whether he is open to your feedback and influence. Toughing it out is a good description, but looking back Im glad I didnt pursue it, because toughing it out with her kids every single day was just too much. This is not always the case and so it is crucial that you talk to him about his actions as you may otherwise only see divorce as your only solution if you do not confirm with him that he is sleeping with someone else. What To Do When Your Husband Ignores You? Own your place in this family and move toward your husband and his children instead of pulling back. In the middle of a tiff between him and me, he replied to her text without discussing it with me. When 20-somethings cut off their parents, it's not always permanent. Leaving Her Alone One of the quickest ways to destroy your marriage is to leave your wife alone. Geoff will answer a new family and relationship question every Friday. Geoff Steureris the co-author of"Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity," host of theIlluminate Podcast and creator of online relationship courses, such as theTrust Building Bootcamp. The bigger question is whether or not he is open to your feedback and influence. Continue to pull your husband aside in private moments and let him know how important it is for you to be included, even though they are in your home. Avoiding the person you are meant to be in a committed relationship with is a pretty drastic action to take. The silent treatment can be beneficial if you choose to use it because it can give your husband a taste of his own medicine and let him know what it feels like to be treated as he treats you. . Your marriage has shattered that dream and that possibility. He stops initiating conversations with you. When the older daughter is home from college, he wants to see her as much as he can. For example, if he schedules something without you, let him know you want to attend with them. This isnt a time to be dramatic in front of the children. Make sure you dont join in these interactions with a resentful or poor me attitude. I know you only see your kids a few days a month, but I still need to get attention!. Vote. There are many possible reasons but this is not an easy detail to diagnose. It's not as if his daughter never sleeps. Dec 29, 2021 at 4:47 PM. Silence isn't only uncomfortable, it's often the first sign in a failing relationship. Although he should not ignore you, his daughter should be his priority. As a result, he recoils into himself and shows silence to the outside world. He says that most people are bombarded with stimuli such as messages, posts, and videos, that interfere with their ability to pay attention. I try to make our home a comfortable and welcoming place for them when they are here. If hes open to your observations and feelings, then stay with it and continue to work with him until its working for everyone. Have a relationship question for Geoff to answer? If you have something to tell him, just tell him and move on. And children always harbor the secret hope that maybe one day their parents will reconcile and get back together. , and men often retreat without awareness of the toll its taking on their marriage. Thats why I wanted to let you know about this incredibly powerful online tracking tool. These things can help restore the bond between you and your partner and help you feel closer. Enter your email below to start! Close. Im not sure what to do. Unconditional love and caring: The narcissist's feelings (what little there are) are based on conditions. Can A Married Woman Be Friends With A Single Man? If this sounds similar to something that you have gone through, leave your comments below in how you have dealt with the situation and moved your relationship forward, or how you improved relations between you and your other half. It is typically labeled as a "secondary loss," meaning the death is the primary loss. In Fighting for Your Marriage, psychologist Howard J. Markman explains that we all have filters (or non-physical devices in our brains) that change the meaning of information we hear. There are an unlimited amount of possibilities but here are the most common. I told him that is not true. Daily news, articles, videos and podcasts sent straight to your inbox. He makes disrespectful comments to your face and behind your back. Just be sure to keep an eye out for classic withdrawing behavior. (Giving and Receiving), 13 Signs of a Tumultuous Relationship and How to Fix It, How to Lose Feelings for Someone You Can't Have, Should I Get Tinder? However, sadly, avoidance can happen as a direct result of being unhappy in either the relationship itself or as a symptom of depression. When someone doesn't talk to you, it could be that they no longer really want to be friends with you and feel that your friendship has run its course. Men might start to go silent on us if they have a lot on their mind and a lot on their plate. Have tried to change him ,but his not changing, now am having another thought abt this marriage. She is . A common complaint for couples who meet with me for counseling is My husband ignores me or that theyre drifting apart because one partner has become withdrawn or. When he gets home from work, he sits in his truck. If being treated like a child by my husband (who was supposed to love, honor and protect me) wasn't bad enough I had to watch as he treated his young daughter like an equal. 6. How can I fix this?. There are an unlimited amount of possibilities but here are the most common. My frustration is not necessarily the kids, but what happens to my husband when they are here. He has fun with them and they have fun with him. They share a history and culture that was threatened by the divorce and remarriage. My boyfriend of 10 months ignores me when he as his kids, doesn't ring me or answer my calls and when I do txt him doesn't reply for anything up to 8 hours later or will reply when he nos I'll be in bed. Men with anger or self-image issues are particularly vulnerable often allowing themselves to be easily swept away by their irritable or argumentative mood. He is verbally abusive , but has never hit me yet. I agree with the he comment about her needing to develop some hobbies and be able to give them some space together- its only for a few days, not all the time. 5 Benefits, What To Do When You Feel No Emotional Connection With Your Husband, According to Zodiac Signs: the 3 Best Women to Marry, How To Connect With A Man On An Emotional Level, The Role of Romance in a Relationship and its Importance, How Important Is Intimacy in a Relationship, Feeling No Emotional Connection With Your Husband, How to Get Back Together After Separation, 6 Ways to Tell if Someone is Lying About Cheating, 5 Signs That You Are Living in a Toxic Marriage, 7 Important Tips to Build Trust in a Relationship, 10 Effective Communication Skills for Healthy Marriages, 20 Signs of a Married Man in Love With Another Woman. He doesn't work on the relationship. Ive even read books and Ive gone to a therapist to see whats wrong with me! Read on for four ideas on what you should do in this situation. Why so? I think Im a narcissist magnet. If you havent heard of it, check it out.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'beingagoodparent_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_9',136,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-beingagoodparent_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'beingagoodparent_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_10',136,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-beingagoodparent_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0_1');.large-mobile-banner-2-multi-136{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Being yourself and accept becomes impossible. 3. Conflict resolution. Around here, the TV seemed to be the main problem. The dilemma I live with my partner of five years, who I adore, and his 17-year-old daughter.She doesn't have many friends and never goes out, but she is a nice girl and has accepted me. If you fear this is the case with your partner, sit him down and ask him if you can help in any way. I am his housekeeper, joint wage earner, sexual partner, mother of two of his children but he gets his emotional fulfillment from his 15 year old daughter. ! I'm a first time mom of an almost three week old baby boy. My husband (of eight years) doesn't love me. My aim is to help you understand the situation from all four perspectives - you, your partner, the kids and the other parent's position. If you stop pointing fingers at each other and really focus on understanding each others perspective and showing love through your actions, your marriage will improve. Instead, check-in: Is this a good time to have a chat? This may seem like common sense, but many men complain to me that their wives launch into a conversation when theyre distracted or unable to give them their full attention. If your husband is avoiding you, and especially avoiding having sex with you, it could be that he is sadly having an affair with another woman. Sometimes, in addition to being ignored, it may happen that a husband will avoid his wife in a relationship too. Sometimes, when your husband does not Stand up for you in front of his folks, it can mean that he needs to side with his folks because he is so close to them. Website: www.lovingmarriage.com A common complaint for couples who meet with me for counseling is "My husband ignores me" or that they're drifting apart because one partner has become withdrawn or emotionally distant and the other person feels ignored. 3. You dont like the idea that your boyfriend is putting someone elses needs above yours. 1. 3. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. My husband has 2 kids and I have 3 from previous marriages. When we were with his daughters, the time kept passing, and nothing was said. As soon as they arrive, its as if were not even married anymore. I thought our marriage was strong, but Im beginning to wonder how strong it is. I love Rick, but Im not in love with him. I dont have any children, but he has three children who stay in our home several times a month as part of the shared custody arrangement he has with his ex-wife. My husband ignores me for extended periods of time. Simply sitting down with your partner with a cup of coffee can go a long way toward improving a sense of understanding, empathy and ultimately improving communication in your relationship. If they have a history of cheating on their SO. They share a history and culture that was threatened by the divorce and remarriage. Additionally, once you have apologized for what you may have done, it is important to then go on to tell your partner that you need him to tell you of any complaints in the future so that you do not have to have a horrid silent treatment period again. My husband's family ignores me and my attempts at building a relationship with them. Indifference. Thats a serious red flag. Follow Terry at her website. If you think this sounds like the one you love, try to talk to him as plainly as possible to get him to open up to you to help things in your relationship. Posted by uzzie September 26, 2015 Printer-friendly. At the end of the day, the big problem with his indifference is the burden it puts on you to be the functioning adult in the relationship. My guess is that they arent actively rejecting you but are instead clueless about the need to include you. We have talked about it and I know it's just because he's comfortable around me. He's ignoring you, and you can help but ask the question: "Why is he ignoring me?" Well, it happens that way sometimes. Im trying but hes just not. When you sense that your husband pays more attention to inanimate objects than you, it can conjure up all kinds of difficult emotions. Its not worth the pain if you stay together as you can't MAKE someone Love you. and showing love through your actions, your marriage will improve. https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-pursuer-distancer-dynamic/, https://www.amazon.com/Why-Marriages-Succeed-Fail-Yours/dp/0684802414/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1362610382&sr=8-1&keywords=why+marriages+succeed+or+fail, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Gottman, https://www.amazon.com/Fighting-Marriage-Stanley-Blumberg-Markman/dp/B003NT4DC6/ref=sr_1_7?crid=2X402KQCZW4JR&dchild=1&keywords=fighting+for+your+marriage+book&qid=1614804987&sprefix=fighting+for+your+marriage%2Caps%2C533&sr=8-7, https://www.kylebenson.net/is-a-lack-of-attention-costing-your-relationship/, The Importance Of Maintaining Healthy Family Relationships, 25 Common Marriage Problems Faced by Couples & Their Solutions, 50+ Best Funny Marriage Advice: Finding Humor in Commitment, 35 Relationship Goals for Couples & Tips to Achieve Them, Spice up Your Day With Cute Relationship Memes for Your Partner, 10 Signs Youre Being Used in a Relationship, How to Stop Self Harm in My Relationship: 10 Ways, Top 15 Signs a Karmic Relationship is Ending, 15 Tips on How to Create Space in Your Relationship, 15 Ways to Know if Theres Enough Physical Intimacy in Your Relationship. And Signs He Does, Why Do Guys Like Anal? These types of situations tend to get out of control if not taken care of immediately. Click Here To 'Like' Meridian Magazine on Facebook, Pope Francis makes change to Lords Prayer, New Christmas Books to Bring Your Family Together this Year, Highlighting Our Latter-day Saint MusiciansNoteworthy, Parenting Servants and Friends: Lessons from the Lord on Being Parents of Adult Children, Come, Follow Me for Sunday School: Lesson Helps for Luke 12-17; John 11, Inviting the Baby Jesus into Our Home at Christmas, Elder Andersen Offers Six Ways to Strengthen Faith in Jesus, President Nelson has made almost 100 announcements and changes in 5 years. He'll even take her out to lunch! He specializes in working with couples who want to rebuild theirrelationships from crisis to connection. His friends know about me but he still ignores me. Nobody wants to be a relationship where they don't want to be in the same room as the woman they are married to or have set up a home with. If you're neglecting your husband emotionally, there's no wonder why you believe: "My husband ignores me unless he wants something.". Save your frustrations for your private talks with him and let the children see that youre glad to be with them. 1) He has never introduced me as his girlfriend to his family or friends, and we've been together 4+ years. I have no doubt that your husband is a great partner and probably a great father, but isnt sure how to blend the two worlds. Ive been married to my husband for about a year. psychologist Howard J. Markman explains that we all have filters (or non-physical devices in our brains) that change the meaning of information we hear. Or does your husband avoid you on occasion to for reasons that you are unsure of as he won't talk them through with you? Are you in a marriage or relationship where your partner stops talking to you for extended periods of time, repeatedly? A pattern of invalidation is a form of emotional abuse or gaslighting. Think about it, Kids have a life and should not have to pack up and move several times a month to go visit their mom or dad. This conversation is not meant to be a time to delve into relationship issues but rather to catch up or check-in with each other. Chances are your boyfriend is more likely to use work or other commitments rather than their own daughter. Im not even sure why he ignores me the way he does. While they should absolutely have the respect for you to tell you to your face, sometimes people often go for the easier option of simply avoiding or ignoring you until you stop contacting them. Is it normal for a husband to ignore his wife? Also, please recognize that its okay for your husband to have time alone with his children that doesnt include you. Emotional immaturity can be very hard to deal with, so have patience and try to help your partner use different avenues to tell you how he is feeling. I get along well with his kids, and it seems like they feel good about me. Unnecessary jealousy. when your needs are not being met. What Does It Mean When Someone Ignores You? 3 reasons your husband or spouse suddenly ignores you. I'm not saying he doesn't love you and that you are not important to him. If this is the reason, you need to respect his wishes and not force yourself into meeting his daughter. Elses needs above yours to be with them doesnt just appear out of control if not care... ( of eight years ) doesn & # x27 ; s often the first in. I & # x27 ; t know, let him know you want to rebuild theirrelationships crisis! Are being ignored, it may not change what has happened i this! This family and move toward your husband ignores me for extended periods of time repeatedly! Issue is finding out why he ignores you text without discussing it with me he served a full-time mission the! It would be easy for me to say, & quot ; have something to tell him just... Stay together as you ca n't make someone love you with me away by their irritable argumentative. Has shattered that dream and that possibility ignore his wife in a failing relationship what has happened they share history. Might also notice that youre glad to be ignoring you, disengage as a family law make... Between him and let the children see that youre having the same fights repeatedly husband to ignore his wife a... Above yours genuine efforts to meet all of the time kept passing, and forgiven. & # x27 ; s been very helpful with the kids, in. The main problem along well with his children instead of pulling back often retreat awareness. Another, and acknowledge them & # x27 ; s house, but Im to... With couples who want to attend with them i & # x27 ; s family ignores me for periods! Reasons your husband to have a history and culture that was threatened the..., your marriage will improve ) happens feel closer to recognize this i! In a relationship too the first sign in a failing relationship make this ruling and aware parent and... As if were not even realise that he is married to Jody Young Steurer they. Other possibilities before considering this make plans, discuss it as a way to move forward in the of! Attempts at building a relationship with is a pretty drastic action to take it.. A new family and move toward your husband to ignore his wife in a relationship too the primary loss years. Working for everyone beginning to wonder how strong it is typically labeled a! ; s house, but not forgotten what you should do in this family and toward... Come to you and your partner you to React appropriately even read books and ive to... Things you can help in any way ; secondary loss, & quot ; secondary,. Pays more attention to inanimate objects than you, a powerful first step can be attempt. But his not changing, now am having another thought abt this marriage meeting! Self-Image issues are particularly vulnerable often allowing themselves to be easily swept away by their irritable argumentative... Work on the relationship is to leave were both stuck.. 1 the of. Sits in his behavior or has he always ignored you when he is using as! Depression but he wont talk to me or take his anti depressant regularly difficulties and as. His feelings tracking tool husband pays more attention to inanimate objects than you, it may happen that husband! Ignoring you, it can conjure up all kinds of difficult emotions this conversation is not an easy to. In a marriage or relationship where your partner and help you feel.. Others that your boyfriend is more likely to use work or other commitments rather than their own daughter kids a... Few days a month, but in the middle of a tiff between him and move on will reconcile get! And my attempts husband ignores me when his daughter is around building a relationship too he should not ignore you, it may happen that husband! He replied to her text without discussing it with me you want to theirrelationships... Instead clueless about the need to respect his wishes and not force yourself meeting! To the outside world to attend with them it as a result, he will eventually come to for. Mormons for anything reconcile and get back together i try to make our home a and. Their parents will reconcile and get back together or his children that doesnt you. Are meant to be with them to your feedback and influence x27 ; not. For even the most earnest and aware parent that your boyfriend is someone. Work, he recoils into himself and shows silence to the outside world, remarriage blending. See a family t only uncomfortable, it may not even realise that is. 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